Which parenting style is best has always been a topic of discussion. Some root for gentle parenting, some for FAFO (“F*** Around and Find Out”), and others are still holding on to the classic desi style. In an old interview with film critic Anupama Chopra, Dabangg actor Salman Khan shared his perspective on this.

Recalling his childhood, Salman candidly said, “Yeh choti-moti naughty cheezein jo bachpan mein hua karti hai… ek-aad thappad kha letey hain, ek-aad punch-wunch kha letey hain father se. Iss mein kaunsi badi baat hai?” (All these little naughty things that happen in childhood — one or two slaps, one or two punches from my father; what’s the big deal?) 

He added that while his sister believes children should never be slapped, he personally never had a problem getting beaten up when he was growing up. When asked whether it still happens, Salman laughed and replied: “Yes… sometimes.” 

To understand how occasional slaps or punches from a father might affect a child both in the short and the long term, The Indian Express reached out to S. Giriprasad, a psychologist at Aster Whitefield Hospital.

The impact early on

The psychologist explained that although such actions are sometimes framed as “discipline,” any physical punishment from a parental figure can be perceived by a child as a threat coming from someone meant to represent care, security, and safety. 

For a growing child, especially a son, this may create emotional confusion. Feeling both love and fear from the same parental figure can be difficult for a child’s emotional development. Over time, this confusion doesn’t simply disappear — rather, the child adapts. The psychologist says this adaptation may involve translating the bodily sense of authority into personal meaning, which can result in increased stress response, trust issues, and reduced emotional expressiveness. 

Does the child really “not mind” or just adapt?

When an adult later says they “never minded” being hit — as Salman has — psychology doesn’t necessarily interpret that as evidence that the experience was harmless. 

The psychologist explains this could instead suggest “numbing or protective rationalization.” A child’s brain might modify the painful experience into something perceived as normal in order to cope and preserve a sense of safety with the caregiver. In other words, reframing pain as “normal” can be more of a survival mechanism than genuine acceptance. 

Long-term effects

The long-term effects of physical punishment can vary but are meaningful. The psychologist notes that physical punishment can influence how someone views conflict and power. For some, it may contribute to the belief that force is a valid means to exert authority. Others may become conflict avoiders, developing fear around confrontation or challenges with self-esteem. Common long-term outcomes mentioned include anxiety, irritability, emotional unavailability, anger issues, or intimacy problems. 

Importantly, the expert emphasizes that when such behaviour continues into adulthood, it is no longer considered discipline but is, in fact, abuse. Slapping and punching by adult relatives are expressions of unresolved power struggles rather than anything beneficial. 

While Salman Khan’s comments reflect a mindset that many can relate to across generations, psychology reminds us that just because something felt “normal” doesn’t mean it was harmless — and understanding these patterns is essential for breaking them.